i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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