I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
