We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
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Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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