I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
