Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
