perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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