And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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