First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
