did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
