i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
