operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and i looked up. we had an audience...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
