i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We named our party play list daddy issues
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Are my feet made of real feet?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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