I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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