I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
