Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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