well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
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WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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