Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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