that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
