look no pants
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Come see our sink grown plant.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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