It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
