Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
