Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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