sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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