Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
