The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
