i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
