quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
