Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
