it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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