He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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