Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
