I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
