I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize