i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
