I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
