Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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