You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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