Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So much rum. So many feels.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
