This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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