Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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