i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
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She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
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Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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