Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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