Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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