he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
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