the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
