I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
