i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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