Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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