i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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