Pappa wants mamma naked
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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