Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
