god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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