It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
