he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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