White coat. Heels.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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