areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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