The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
