You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
