he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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