I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
