are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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