can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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